Defining boundaries in relationships
Defining personal boundaries is like identifying gates in invisible fences that protect our dear heart and soul in our bodies. Many define boundaries on the walls, but when creating healthy borders, this will make it possible to distinguish between the choices we choose and let go. They form flexible gates, non-stationary walls. It is important that we know the healthy boundaries to make decisions about what and what is not allowed in all relationships.
Limit Values are Valuable
Every relationship works more harmoniously when participants know what to expect and what they expect from them. For the sake of kindness, but firmly when deciding what needs a relationship, it allows another person to reciprocate. The way others act and think, often has nothing to do with you, but with your own perception. You can only take care of yourself.
It does not matter how complicated the fence and eloquent statements are, if we do not respect ourselves so much that we are attracted to a line and consistently stick to it. It is equally valuable for the other person to learn how to be with you and what lines there are to the relationship.
Body language and tone
Verbal communication is the information language, and only 20% is absorbed. Body language and tone are the language of relationships and 80% of them remember it. Make sure you look confident and speak neutral, calm and non-accusing when determining your boundaries. Use the "I" statements that reflect what things are affecting you and not the "self" claims that make people defensive
4 steps to define boundaries
1. Feel free to notify the other person by saying "I feel uncomfortable and want to stand when you cry out for me."
2nd Ask him to respect his limit. – Please talk to me without shouting. Or … to listen to and hear what you say to me, without crying, speak to me in a calm voice.
3rd Insist on respecting the borders, again in a loud voice, "I insist that when we speak we speak in a calm voice."
4th Leave the situation. Now is not the time or place to keep in touch with someone who does not respect the boundaries. Leave the door open to talk more honestly later. Continue with a calm but firm voice and say, "I'm not going to continue this conversation so I can greet the opportunity to shout or scream at another time."
Do not take it personally
You can not take responsibility for other people's emotions, agenda or communication methods. You just know you want to handle life. If there are old patterns, it may take some time to persuade others to seriously stick to their boundaries. Everyone has the right to regret and polite.
The people they know know firstly they may be surprised to tell them they've crossed the line, but finally they are more respected. Hopefully, this communication style will be modeled and will create a fairer and more open relationship for everyone.
© Judy H. Wright, parental educator and author
Source by sbobet th